Good books don't give up all their secrets at once

In New York
Concrete jungle where dreams are made of,
Theres nothing you can’t do,
Now you’re in New York,
These streets will make you feel brand new,
The lights will inspire you,
Lets here it for New York, New York, New York

One hand in the air for the big city,
Street lights, big dreams all looking pretty,
No place in the World that can compare,
Put your lighters in the air, everybody say yeaaahh
Come on, come…

Empire State Of Mind

Look outside… Feel the need of your hungry feelings circulating around your head and forcing your mind and soul to correct the errors and mistakes of your life.

Look outside like you were the rainbow flying through hills and seas admiring the second end of the world.

Look outside and find your destiny.

The noisy cars, crowded city full of hate and false emotions. Constantly changing their perspective of randomness . In the middle of this sick and pathological circus you are able to watch a movie called: your life. Lost and confused you are calling for help. Looking for someone who will take these voices away, looking for someone who will give you the camera to avoid the never ending and merciless failure.

Walking around NYC I was thinking of every single day of my life (of course I mean those days I am able to recognize and remember somewhere between the day I was born and 31.05.2012).

The big city, the real dream and the real fulfillment of my desires and hopes. Every building reminds me of nights and days spent on dreaming, planning and describing my own plans with invisible finger of my imagination.

I am here. In NYC. The city that never sleeps. Looking at these streets, looking through the people I meet, feeling through their thoughts I am probably the happiest person in the world. At least the happiest person in my own, little, transcendent vision of reality.

Thinking of me and these really happy, ecstatic days I can’t forget about people that inspired me and gave the strength to fight for my dreams: my family, friends, Stephen King, Jared Leto, John Lennon and Yoko Ono.

They are something like the small allegories of my life. My loved ones are obviously aware of their influence on my life so I don’t feel the need for including them in this let’s say post.

I’ll write something about a random thought that appeared in my head while walking around Manhattan.

CHAPTER 27.

The memory of this movie and my feelings traversing the crossings of my neurons mastered my day. Jared Leto, John Lennon, Yoko Ono and… Mark  Chapman.

It’s really funny how some coincidences and mental accidents may become your inspiration, a little sparkle showing you the road and the right way to develop your ideas.

Anyway, I had to watch this movie again and of course I did it.

It was my third, maybe fourth time when I saw this movie. My reactions are almost the same every time I watch it. But today, something changed. I guess it’s the effect of being in NYC, feeling this city and exploring it’s secrets.

So close to the history…

My plan doesn’t include describing Jared’s acting skills (I can only say that I’m impressed and really happy that exactly this man was able to become Chapman – Holden for some time and give us the opportunity to see a murderer of Lennon as someone familiar and maybe someone more human than we used to perceive him), doesn’t include the history of Yoko and John, The Beatles music and lives of their members as well.

I just want to write something connected to my feelings about NYC and… Mark Chapman.

I find this man very difficult and complicated. Just like every human that suffers from mental disorders, maybe schizophrenia, maybe bipolar disorder or just an extremely deep disappearance in the world.

I was looking at him and thinking that the person I hated, the person who killed one of the most important human beings in the whole world (my opinion) has started to take a shape of someone hurt, someone who created one’s own world with different rules and motivations.

Between love, hope and good will his mind created a real evil wearing a mask of disappointment and bitterness. This man was fighting with himself, trying to avoid the unavoidable, trying to cut the persistent tape of his fears and demons.

He lost his way in the middle of chaos, in the middle of millions of lives gathered in New York City.

Somewhere between the source of angelic and good feelings always is a devil. Hidden deep down under our emotions and actions. Mark Chapman lost the fight and embarked on the path of darkness. The most dangerous darkness because his own darkness with his own demons.

I fell in love with this place. Everything that is connected to this place, every mental relationship that is slightly floating in the air.

But I also noticed the darkness in this city. Some dark, oozy places in hearts of people passing by. The homeless and poor people, the lonely people forgotten by this world, the sick ones, the broken ones… Every single person that is invisible to the eyes.

They ARE a black hole that mastered Chapman’s mind and filled the spaces of his already broken body.

Like the unbelievable continuation of the story.

“The Catcher In The Rye”

http://redrum87.tumblr.com/post/19916451793/no-demons-no-art